Can you ever get over your first lust?

*adopts Carrie Bradshaw accent* So I got to thinking 'Can you ever really get over your first lust?'

There was a time that I was so besotted with a friend of mine that one time we sat in the cinema and only our knees touched. But that was enough. I was so excited and got such a thrill from it that I would leave it there even though really it's a bit weird.

But I want to be clear, I love him to pieces but I would not want a relationship with him. I am totally wrong for him and although his body is 100% right, the rest is not. He makes me feel needy, less than myself and not nearly as confident as I normally am. Maybe this is because of my enormous crush on him.

It has died now. Well, I say died but I find myself talking about him more recently. Could this be due to the fact that he has the first serious boyfriend he has had in a long time? Hmmm...

He can't make my birthday next month and I was really upset. Over it now but for a second I was upset.

Anyway I am really happy for him and his boyfriend is lovely. I am 100% cool with it as a) I know we would not work and b)he deserves it.

I just need to stop talking about him when I'm drunk...