One of my good friends has always done something which I found strange. He keeps his friends all totally separate. They rarely mix and when they do he dislikes it. It think this has something to do with his ego and needing to be centre of attention. But I also think...well actually maybe that is my issue as well.
Tonight I went out with someone I have known for a few years now. I am not actually that sure how much longer our friendship can go. I find him to be a bit of a parasite. That is so obviously the wrong word but it carries some of the negativity I wanted to convey so it will do for now.
He enjoys meeting my friends, well, OK, people in general, but he brings drama wherever he goes. He is fun. He is charismatic. He is fun to be around. But at the same time, I personally find it difficult to see him sleeping with one of my housemates and then flirting with another, who says he finds it awkward, thinks the friend is not actually that nice, but I reckon he secretly enjoys it all.
It's not that I'm jealous. I've realised this. Well, OK, it is that I'm jealous, but not for the sex/flirtation reasons, more for the 'people doing something that I can't join in with' reason.
I can't be part of that gang, the beautiful people gang, the we're all hot, have lots of sex and not suffer any consequences. Whooh!
Instead I make my excuses and leave because I would rather be at home with Alison Goldfrapp and Beth Gibbons, just trying to get on with my life.
Another of my friends tries to live her life with as little drama as possible. She just tries to get on with her daily routine and live a drama-free existence. As I walked across the Sainsburys car park tonight, listening to Seventh Tree, I thought I would like the same, but at the same time, I realised what an impossibility this is. Not for me but for everyone.
So instead you need to take the ups with the downs. Right now, it may be Goldfrapp and Portishead but I know the next minute it will be Thunderheist and MSTRKRFT so whatever the playlist, find your own groove.
*BARF*
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